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Posts Tagged ‘World Cup’

Even Hitler Hates Those Horns

June 18, 2010 Leave a comment
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USA! USA! USA! O.k., not really.

June 18, 2010 1 comment

Slovenia's favorite sport

In what is quickly becoming the “nobody is a loser…here’s your participation medal” event of the last four years, the U.S. exhibited its excellence again by not losing.  This time, in a 2-2 tie to Slovenia.  Wait, Slovenia?  How do we not beat a country whose most popular sports include handball and Alpine skiing?  More importantly, what happens if the U.S. continues to simply tie everybody?  Do they move on?  Are they awarded a casserole?  Does anyone know?

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Vuvuzelas!

June 15, 2010 6 comments

I said to myself, “self, no more writing about the World Cup.”  Well, I can’t help it.  If my favorite Michigan football blog is going to fill up space with ramblings about soccer, than I will too.

If World Cup soccer is such a big freaking deal, why is it that the the most popular subject of conversation seems to be a South African noise-making device? Moreover, why does everybody need to be so insensitive as to complain about a local culture-type thing?  I mean, we’re talking about a sport that tolerates regular riots and celebrates 1-1 ties!

That guy on the left looks like he's going to kick the crap out of the Cobra Kai.

Is an annoying horn really going to take away from a game where men routinely line up and cover their marbles with their hands?  I doubt it.  I say blow your horns South Africa and damn the man.

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Stuff that Sucks

June 3, 2010 1 comment

Today I sat on the tarmac at Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport in Atlanta for approximately 45 minutes in the afternoon sun with neither captain nor air conditioning.  While most people complained, I took the opportunity to think about stuff that sucks.  Here’s my (admittedly incomplete) list:

1.  Flight attendants thanking me for my patience.  I’m not being patient, I just have nowhere to go.  No need to thank me.

2.  The World Cup.  Why do I need to be subjected to this every four years?  Why do I have to be forced to watch commercials on ESPN that attempt to make soccer seem more riveting than watching a hamster on a wheel?  Why do I have to have family members joining Facebook groups in support of some random country when they don’t even own a soccer ball?  People don’t get this excited about Jai Alai, and that game involves hard little balls flying really fast in close quarters.  The World Cup involves little men trying desperately to score a goal…two if you’re lucky.

Soccer wasn't even part of the intro to Miami Vice.

3.  The guy sitting next to me on the plane who keeps touching me when he’s asleep.

4.  Instant replay.  I hate instant replay.  In fact, nothing has ruined sports more than know-nothing talking heads with the opportunity to look at a play twenty times in super slow-mo from ten different angles…and still get the call wrong.  And then to have to deal with all the gnashing of teeth over the blown call during the Tigers-Indians game that cost Armando Galaraga a perfect game, and how instant replay would have saved us from the travesty…enough already.  Look, I’m a HUGE Tigers fan, and yes, the ump totally blew the call.  But you know what?  I’m a bigger baseball fan, and baseball, like all sports, is played by humans, and officiated by humans, and mistakes are part of the game.  Grow up.  If Jim Leyland, Dave Dombrowski, and Galaraga aren’t complaining, you shouldn’t be.

5.  Sitting at a red light at 4:00 a.m. for five minutes, with no cross traffic.  Why don’t all lights have sensors?  Why do I need to feel compelled to break the law and drive through the intersection on a red?  Wouldn’t that constitute entrapment?

6.  The World Cup.

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