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Why Does Michigan Hate Bacon?

April 18, 2012 Leave a comment

Oops. Wrong Piggy.

We here at Why Not Nashville? have always had a special relationship with the federal government.  We imagine it’s similar to the bond shared by Kevin Arnold and Becky Slater, where having a companion to ride bikes with is nice, but making out with Winnie Cooper is better, or something like that.  But we’re critical of state and local governments too.  After all, who can forget the anger we directed at the state of Illinois over its crap-tastic toll increases? Or the references made about our local property taxes, which are so high they occasionally cause to me to consider sending my kids to the public schools (but then I remember that the public schools don’t allow their teachers to encourage good behavior with a ruler and stories of hell, and the thought goes away).

Today, we’re wondering why the state of Michigan hates bacon.

NaturalNews can now confirm that the Michigan Department of Natural Resources has, in total violation of the Fourth Amendment, conducted two armed raids on pig farmers in that state, one in Kalkaska County at Fife Lake and another in Cheboygan County. Staging raids involving six vehicles and ten armed men, DNA conducted unconstitutional, illegal and arguably criminal armed raids on these two farms with the intent of shooting all the farmers’ pigs under a bizarre new ‘Invasive Species Order’ (ISO) that has suddenly declared traditional livestock to be an invasive species.

Hmm, curious.  Now don’t get me wrong.  I have no problem with killing pigs.  In fact, I require that death occur at some point before I apply the barbeque sauce.  But why is a state agency invading people’s private property to shoot tasty animals?  And why are the owners of these animals being charged with felonies?  And why is the only guy who seems to care possess the title of “Health Ranger?”

All this tells me is that Michigan obviously has too many state employees sitting around doing nothing.  I can imagine the conversation being had in Lansing now:

Govt. Big Wig: ‘Ok Joe.  We need to find something for you to do, or else we’ll have to fire you.’

Joe:  ‘But Govt. Big Wig, I’m turning 40 next week, and then I can retire with a pension and full benefits.  Can’t you wait until then?’

Govt. Big Wig: ‘Calm down Joe.  You know we don’t actually fire anybody around here.  But I do need to find something for you to do.  So, you have two options.  You can either go help pave that section of M-43 that gets re-paved every year, or you can go shoot some hogs on Murphy’s farm with this assault rifle.  It turns out they’re invasive.’

Joe: ‘Invasive eh?  I thought they just smelled bad.  Anyway, I’ll take the hogs.’

They’re pigs people, not Tigers.  I understand the fear is that they’ll escape, and breed, and maybe maul a pedestrian as he enjoys a delicious bottle of Vernor’s, but is that really enough of a concern to justify the violent taking of a person’s private property?  Of course not.  But when the guy leading the resistance is only a Ranger of Health, then you get what you deserve.

The President Hates Flowers and Birds. And Barry White.

March 27, 2012 Leave a comment

It was so hot, they barely needed to wear clothes.

We here at Why Not Nashville? are in great spirits.  The flowers are blooming.  The bee’s are buzzing.  The birds are listening to Barry White to get themselves in the mood.  The weather is warm.  So warm in fact, that I was able to lose my shirt a few days ago and obtain my first sunburn of the summer…and it’s only March!  No snow.  No frost.  Nothing to make me wake up in the morning and say “crap, I’m going to be late because I have to scrape ice off of my car.”  If this is because of global warming, then sign me up for some mo’.

Just kidding.  It’s not because of global warming.  Oh, and I didn’t “lose” my shirt.  I voluntarily removed it so my pasty skin could reflect light onto all of those solar panels I had installed on my house.  Also, the chicks in the neighborhood enjoy me shirtless.  And really, who can blame them?

It’s convenient that I can worship at the altar of global warming because of all the global warming stuff that’s in the news right now.  For example, our unelected friends at the EPA are about to roll out their new power plant regulations that will effectively put a halt to the construction of new coal plants.

Michael Brune, executive director of the Sierra Club, said the new rule ‘captures the end of an era’ during which coal provided most of the nation’s electricity. It currently generates about 40 percent of U.S. electricity.

Of course, we don’t know how to replace that 40%, but whatever.

The power sector accounts for 40 percent of the nation’s greenhouse gas emissions, and Brune said it is ‘the only place where we’re making significant progress’ in curbing greenhouse gas emissions linked to climate change, adding that ‘at the same time, it’s not sufficient.’

If you’ve been paying attention to this blog for any period of time, you should know by now that I am of the opinion that “man-made global warming” or even “global warming” are politically-charged statements with little definitive science to back them up.  Yes, there are those who make their living off of federal grants truly do believe in the theory of global warming, but others aren’t so sure.  Take this professor of physics at Princeton, for example:

What is happening to global temperatures in reality? The answer is: almost nothing for more than 10 years. Monthly values of the global temperature anomaly of the lower atmosphere, compiled at the University of Alabama from NASA satellite data, can be found at the website http://www.drroyspencer.com/latest-global-temperatures/. The latest (February 2012) monthly global temperature anomaly for the lower atmosphere was minus 0.12 degrees Celsius, slightly less than the average since the satellite record of temperatures began in 1979.

So, temperatures worldwide have not gone up lately, and actually dropped a little since we started paying attention.  However, there has apparently been some warming…if you look back far enough.

There has indeed been some warming, perhaps about 0.8 degrees Celsius, since the end of the so-called Little Ice Age in the early 1800s. Some of that warming has probably come from increased amounts of CO2, but the timing of the warming—much of it before CO2 levels had increased appreciably—suggests that a substantial fraction of the warming is from natural causes that have nothing to do with mankind.

In other words, most of the warming occurred before the Industrial Revolution, when we started pumping CO2 into the atmosphere.  And this doesn’t even take into account how hot it is in those dinosaur movies, when there weren’t any people at all.

So, in light of the fact that science is sorta’ groping around in the dark with respect to the intricacies of our climate, while the circumstantial evidence certainly leans to the side of our carbon footprint not really making much of a difference, why is the administration going out of its way, even to the point of working around Congress, to shut out new coal plants?  If you’re looking for some super-secret answer to this question, you won’t find it here.  Barry’s a jerk.  That’s about it really.  He’d rather put people out of work/keep more people from working, while causing the cost of electricity to increase for everyone, all in the name of some questionable scientific theory.

Oh, and his big donors.  I almost forgot about that one.

What the Speed of Light has to do with the Global Warming Debate

September 23, 2011 2 comments

Flat-Earther?

Don’t worry, this post isn’t about physics.  Well, not directly anyway.  It’s more about the dubious nature of the left’s all-knowing entity: Science.  If you’ve been reading this blog for any length of time, then you know my thoughts on global warming, or climate change, or whatever they’re calling it now to get around their recent inaccuracies.  In short: I don’t buy it.  Do I think the globe is warming in any discernible manner?  No (that’s actually been proven).  Do I think the climate is “changing?”  Well, to the extent it’s always changing, yes.  Do I think humans have some impact on the climate?  Sure.  Do the “climate scientists” have any idea what actually causes climate change, in spite of their claims?  No.

Climate Change Believers though, will tell you differently.  They’ll tell you it’s a done-deal, and if you don’t believe, then you are a flat-earther and dumb.  My response to the CCB’s has always been the same: the “science” upon which you base your theory has consistently been either proven inaccurate or fraudulent.  Why should I believe in that? Fact is, we have a limited understanding of God’s Creation (yep, I said it).  Latest proof: How about learning that climate scientists’ warming projections were wrong (again) because they had failed to account for the sun’s influence in their global warming calculations.  You know…that big yellow thing in the sky that actually warms the planet.

Well, something has happened recently that, if proven true, may cause the science-is-god folks to spontaneously combust.

The science world was left in shock when workers at the world’s largest physics lab announced they had recorded subatomic particles travelling faster than the speed of light.

If the findings are proven to be accurate, they would overturn one of the pillars of the Standard Model of physics, which explains the way the universe and everything within it works.

In other words, if proven true, everything we thought we knew about how the universe works would be wrong.  Why does this matter to the global warming debate?  Because it’s further evidence that science doesn’t really “know” much, but simply “suspects” a lot.  Imagine the ridicule a physicist would have received last week if he had claimed particles could travel faster than the speed of light?  Had he not received the memo from the scientific consensus?

Simply put, the more we learn, the more we learn we were wrong about.  Science is a great gift from God, and well worth our time and money.   But to assert that we have some ultimate understanding of something as complicated as the earth’s climate, when those allegedly possessing the understanding forgot to take the effects of the friggin’ sun into account, strikes me as slightly absurd.

Time to burn more carbon!

June 15, 2011 Leave a comment

All I have to say is this:

I was greeted this morning with the following headline:

Earth may be headed into a mini Ice Age within a decade

That’s right…screw you global warming!  The New Kid On The Block is global cooling.  Oh yeah…screw you too Algore!  Good thing you never got those solar cells on the roof of your L.A. mansion.

Feel free to read the whole article.  I’m not going to recite it here because it’s probably all completely wrong anyway (just like the global warming nonsense).  Howevah…if it is true, you know what we can do to slow the cooling down?  That’s right: burn some fossil fuels!  Hey, does this also mean we’re going to go back to the regular light bulbs?  Because I just took out a second mortgage on my house to buy thousands of the pear-shaped illuminators…since I was planning on selling them on the black market.  Oh well.  You take the good with the bad, right?

“These jobs are going boys and they ain’t coming back”

September 28, 2010 1 comment

You hear it everyday, primarily from liberals:  “America just doesn’t make stuff anymore.”  This is often stated in a wistful manner that harkens back to days gone by, when one’s father would grab his metal lunch box, kiss his wife, and walk to his job at the widget factory.  After hearing such a statement, the uninformed listener may inquire into the reason why America doesn’t make stuff anymore.  At this point, the listener would be bludgeoned with the following (or its equivalent): “It’s those greedy factory owners who only care about profit.”  There can be little doubt that the factory owner cares about profit; that’s why he’s in business after all.  If it wasn’t about profit, then he’d be running a charity like that great humanitarian Bono (oh wait, bad example).

Yes, the owner cares about profit (for those of you who dislike profit…it’s difficult to pay employees without money).  But where did the factory go?  Probably to another country.  Why?  The answer is simple: liberals.  Case in point, the new EPA rules on carbon emissions that the left has been pushing hard for.  Hot Air has provided a nice summary of the soon to be released Senate Environment and Public Works Committee minority report, which provides a picture of the damage the EPA’s new regulations will do to this country’s already anemic manufacturing industry:

  • New standards for commercial and industrial boilers: up to 798,250 jobs at risk;
  • The revised National Ambient Air Quality Standard for ozone: severe restrictions on job creation and business expansion in hundreds of counties nationwide.
  • New standards for Portland Cement plants: up to 18 cement plants at risk of shutting down, threatening nearly 1,800 direct jobs and 9,000 indirect jobs;
  • The Endangerment Finding/Tailoring Rules for Greenhouse Gas Emissions: higher energy costs; jobs moving overseas; severe economic impacts on the poor, the elderly, minorities, and those on fixed incomes; 6.1 million sources subject to EPA control and regulation;

How bad is it?  It’s so bad that the freakin’ Steel Workers Union is complaining about it.  And with good reason…the EPA’s standards are so ridiculously strict, there isn’t a boiler in the country that would comply.  What does that mean?  It means a whole bunch of factories will close, many for good.

It’s examples like this that compel me to conclude that Michael Savage is right: liberalism is a mental disorder.  How can you complain about manufacturing jobs leaving when you’re the reason they’re leaving?  Even more perplexing: Why the hell would any union member support a democrat?  Can anyone explain this to me?  Democrats are the reason union jobs are going to China.

And make no mistake, the EPA’s regs have Obama’s fingerprints all over them.  It’s the current Administration that has been pushing for the EPA to regulate carbon emissions because it couldn’t get cap-n-trade through the Senate.  Simply put, the “working man” needs to wake up.  There’s a reason those factories Springsteen always sings about are closed, and it ain’t the greedy factory owner.

If Congressional Report True, Jones Act the Least of Obama’s Worries

July 1, 2010 Leave a comment

Maybe if I stare at this net long enough, they'll think I care.

Granted, the allegations are coming from Republicans.  But considering the Democrats’ large-scale refusal to oversee the Obama Administration’s activities, they should, at least, be  considered.  And if they turn out to be true, the oil spill will do more damage to Obama than Katrina ever did to Bush.

Rep. Darrell Issa (R – Cal.), the ranking member on the House Government Reform and Oversight Committee, has announced that he will be releasing a report later today on the federal government’s response to the oil spill, and early reports aren’t pretty.  Excerpts from the report reveal conduct spanning from bumbling to flat-out impeachable behavior on the part of the White House.

Some examples include,

Phantom Assets

“The number of assets claimed [by the White House], however, does not appear to match what is actually in the field. This is corroborated by Plaquemines Parish President Billy Nungesser, who shared a similar story with investigators. BP and Coast Guard provided Mr. Nungesser with a map of the Gulf allegedly pinpointing the exact locations of 140 skimmers cleaning up oil. Sensing that the chart may have been somewhat inaccurate, Mr. Nungesser requested a flyover of the assets for verification. After three cancelled trips, officials admitted to Mr. Nungesser that only 31 of the 140 skimmers were ever deployed. The rest were sitting at the docks. According to Mr. Nungesser, the chart appeared to have been fabricated.”

This alleged fabrication is significant, especially given the Administration’s recent attempts to refute claims that they’re refusing international help.  We addressed Obama’s failure to waive the Jones Act here recently, and responded to a commentator who asserted, with dubious support, that those criticisms were unfounded.  Well, if Issa is correct, it’s not just foreign aid being denied; Barry’s not providing domestic assistance either.  The allegation would also provide an explanation as to why the air space above the spill is largely closed, with very few fly-overs permitted.

Resources Used as Bargaining Chip to Mute Criticism

“In some instances, it appears that equipment is provided simply to quiet public criticism. Mr. Nungesser, who has frequently appeared on local and national television, was apparently visited by two White House officials at his office on Fathers’ Day.  According to Mr. Nungesser, the purpose of their visit was to find a way to keep him from calling attention to the lack of equipment. Specifically, they asked him, “What do we have to do to keep you off tv?” He simply replied, “give me what I need.”  On another occasion, Placquemines Parish officials requested 20 skimmers at a town hall meeting held by the Coast Guard. According to Mr. Nungesser, “They gave us two skimmers to shut us up.” These accounts raise serious questions about whether the Administration is more concerned with fighting a public relations battle than combating the oil spill.”

This is a damning allegation, but one that shouldn’t shock anyone, considering the Chicago-style politics running rampant at the White House.  If the two aforementioned allegations (and there are more if you read the linked article) turn out to be true, and I have little reason to question local officials at this point, I would argue that they amount to an impeachable offense.  In fact, if the president is not making damn sure every available ship is down there, and even goes so far as to use Coast Guard vessels as bargaining chips, then he shouldn’t just be impeached, he should be in prison.

Rep. Issa is apparently releasing the full report later today.  I have no doubt that the Administration will deny all of its contents, and blame its existence on partisanship.  When Barry makes these claims however, ask yourself whether he provides any actual proof that the report is false; don’t simply take his word for it.

Old man thinks we’ll be extinct in 100 years. In other shocking news, I like beer.

June 18, 2010 1 comment

Stay away from me Lucky Charms

Yawn.  Well, we’re all gonna be gone in 1oo years. Such a gloomy message would depress me, except: (1) Someone predicting the end of the world is about as shocking as road construction in Illinois; and (2) I’ll already be dead, so what do I care? Anyway, on with the show!

And now Professor Frank Fenner, emeritus professor of microbiology at the Australian National University, has predicted that the human race will be extinct within the next 100 years.

Professor Fenner believes humans will go extinct due to “unbridled consumption” and of course, climate change.  He’s being listened to because he helped eradicate smallpox.  Thank you and congratulations.  Is a microbiologist really qualified to tell anyone that the human race is going to go extinct due to climate change though?  I mean, just because Sean Penn does a great job acting like a person with a mental disability doesn’t mean he’s an expert on foreign policy, right?

My point is, some random scientist telling me the world is going to end in 100 years because too many people exhale is about as credible as him telling me we’re going to be enslaved by a race of mutant leprechauns during a Lucky Charms shortage.  Why am I so confident?  Because nobody has any idea when humanity will end, and trying to guess is dumb.  We’re just as likely to die tomorrow because our esteemed president falls asleep on the Big Red Button as we are to go extinct in 100 years.

Instead of constantly playing the dooms-day card, wouldn’t a more reasonable approach be to simply point out the obvious: less pollution is good, we still have to live here, and I like indoor plumbing.
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