Stuff that’s been going down.
Well, apparently it’s going to be raining in New York for the next several days. Atlantic City is already underwater, or so the media reports. While some are quite concerned about Sandy, I view it as an opportunity to clean out some of the trash that resides in the Northeast.
Don’t worry about me though. I’m ready for Sandy. Any potential looters should be on notice that I am bitterly clinging to my guns and God. And Sparky’s riding shotgun.
Lots of interesting things happened over the weekend…some sad, some not so sad. One sad thing that happened was the Tigers forgot they needed to score runs in order to win at baseball. The second thing is a combination of happy and sad. I went to Benihana on Saturday night to celebrate one of my kid’s birthdays. Hibachi always makes me happy because I get to drink a comically large beer while watching some guy in a big hat make a train out of an onion. Friggin’ genius, that is. It was also sad though, because said guy did not let me catch a shrimp in my mouth. See, I’m really awesome at catching stuff in my mouth, and I lost out on the opportunity to totally impress my wife and give her another reason to be proud of me.
What else….oh yeah, there was this Catholic Bishop in Green Bay, WI, who wrote a letter to his parisioners about the upcoming election. In it, he advised his flock that one’s religious beliefs should actually impact one’s life outside of church. Novel concept, I know. As a result, the Bishop recommended that voting for a pro-abortion, pro-euthanasia, pro-gay marriage candidate should probably not be done, since all three positions are in stark contrast to what the Bible teaches. The only reason this is news is because Catholics have an inexplicable history of voting for
baby killers liberals.
And let’s not forget about the dumpster fire that is Benghazi. On Saturday, Retired Army Lt. Col. Tony Shaffer told Fox News that he has sources in the military that told him Obama watched the entire attack go down via live feed from a drone flying over the scene. No word on whether Barry had butter on his popcorn though. Yes, my many liberal readers, I can hear you now: “Oh, but that’s Fox News. You can’t believe them.” Well, usually I would attempt to corroborate their reporting with “objective” media outlets, except that hasn’t been possible in this case.
And then there’s the report going around the interwebs about General Carter Ham, commander of the U.S. Africa Command, being forcefully retired because he attempted to disobey orders and send military assistance to Benghazi. By now you know that everybody and their mother received real-time emails from a CIA outpost that an attack was taking place, and when some Navy Seals attempted to go and help, they were repeatedly told to stand down. Of course, the Seals went anyway, and saved approximately 30 people before being blown up by terrorists after seven hours of fighting. The new rumor is that Gen. Ham, who was in a position to provide assistance, was fired when he attempted to do something other than complain about running out of Goobers. These may just be rumors, but it is a strange coincidence that he would “retire” at this specific point in history.
Of course, the best person to ask about what happened in Benghazi on September 11 would be the Commander in Chief. He’s too busy “bringing folks to justice” to take questions though. Exit quote:
Ultimately, as commander in chief, I’m responsible, and I don’t shy away from that responsibility. My number one responsibility is to go after folks who did this and we’re going to make sure that we get them. I’ve got a pretty good track record doing that.
In other words, the Prez is responsible. The buck stops with him. And at some point, long after the election, he’ll let everyone know that there was a serious communication breakdown somewhere, that absolutely positively did not involve him, and it will never happen again. But please don’t ask him about it right now, because he’s busy. Why don’t we all just do him a favor, and remove the heavy burden of being president from his shoulders. After that, he’ll no longer have to go through the strain of dodging questions.