Things I Learned Last Night
I split-screened the Tigers-Yankees game and the presidential debate last night. Actually, I had the debate on t.v. with the game on the computer. I did the best I could to keep up with both, but with Verlander being Verlander, there wasn’t a whole lot going on in the game. Here’s a list of the things I learned last night:
1. Justin Verlander is a stud, and obviously worthy of Kate Upton’s love and affection. Tigers one win away from World Series.
2. Gas prices are low when the country is about to go into a horrible recession. Prices are apparently 100% higher when the economy is still terrible. If you don’t understand this, it’s because you’re stupid. Obviously.
3. Barry hasn’t actually been our president for the past four years. It’s been Congress…or Hilary Clinton…or maybe the CIA. Except for that whole killing Bin Laden thing. That was all Barry.
4. Barry has a fantastic economic plan that, while entirely devoid of details, is way better than Mittens’.
5. Barry definitely used the word “terror” the day after four Americans were killed in Libya. While it wasn’t used in the context of actual terrorism in Libya, it is possible he was referring to Sharktopus.
6. Mittens has a binder full of women.
7. Automatic weapons should be illegal in America. They’re ok in Mexico.
8. Barry’s private answer on why his administration failed to provide adequate security for our embassy in Libya was apparently better than his public answer, says the guy who asked the question:
Obama’s retail politics left an impression on Ladka: ‘I appreciate his private answer more than his public answer,’ he says.
9. Rich people suck , and they should be taxed more.
10. Mittens stared into the soul of the kid asking the first question. No, seriously,
‘Mitt Romney’s first answer — I felt like he was staring into my soul, just right through me, when he was asking me the question.’
11. Barry raged against the alleged Gender Pay Inequality Machine with the Lilly Ledbetter Act. This resulted in absolutely no change in the alleged inequality.
12. Barry’s love and respect for his single mother has lead to him paying female employees less than male employees at the White House.
13. People who are threatening to assassinate Mittens if he wins like to leave a papertrail for the Feds.
14. Mittens has more money in his pension than Barry does, and spends more time looking at it…just like this guy:
15. Barry’s economic plan is not built on government creating jobs.
16. Barry’s “jobs bill” involves taking tax-payer money and giving it to govt. agencies to hire people.
17. Barry kept his promise to pass a comprehensive immigration law by doing nothing about immigration.
18. Phil Coke has a filthy slider. I added that because my wife hates it when I use the term “filthy” to describe a pitch.