Home > democrats > We need to make discrimination illegal. Oh, wait…

We need to make discrimination illegal. Oh, wait…

The first thing I’m going to do when I become President of Everything is to make murder even more illegal than it already is.  That’s silly, you say.  I can’t make something that’s illegal more illegal, you say.  Well, despite our best efforts, we have a crisis in this country.  People are literally being murdered everyday.  And not just gang-bangers or drug addicts, but white women and attractive teenagers!   So I’m going to make it illegal-er to murder people.  While I’m at it, I’m going to make it super illegal to murder women.  That way, I’m more likely to convince stupid people that, not only am I against murder, I have a special place in my heart for murdered women.

In other news, the Senate Republicans filibustered an effort by the Dems to make paycheck discrimination against women even more illegal than it already is.  In what I will refer to as the “Paycheck Extra-Fairness Act”, the Dems are attempting to deal with the fact that Romney is closing the gender gap.  And by “deal,” I mean coming up with unnecessary legislation simply for the purpose of having the Republicans filibuster it.  The Dems hope that such a filibuster will make the Republicans look like dirty old men who only value a woman for her ability to make coffee while wearing a sexy mesh leopard print spandex unitard bodysuit catsuit see-thru leotard.

Now, we’ve already told you that there is no discernible gender pay gap when men and women are doing the same thing for the same amount of time.  It’s a combination of the differences in employment and time taken by women to have kids that skews salary.  Don’t get me wrong.  There are certainly sexist bosses out there.  But there’s also a certain segment of the working population that consists of man-hating harpie feminists.  And some people like to dress their cats up like wizards.  My point is, it simply isn’t an issue that requires additional legislation.  Gender discrimination has been illegal since the sixties.  And with the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act which Barry signed into law two or so years ago, the statute of limitations for suing an employer for alleged discrimination was extended to, basically, forever.

Of course, the reality of the gender-pay issue isn’t going to stop the left from flying the mammary flag in the fictitious War on Women whenever possible.  After all, I’m still hearing about how the Republican men are trying to take away a woman’s right to contraception, which couldn’t be further from the truth.  Fact is, a lack of contraception would severely impact the inconsequential nature of the extramarital affairs that many of them take part in.

The Paycheck Fairness Act wouldn’t do anything to bring more “fairness” to the workplace, since the alleged lack of fairness doesn’t actually exist.  What the Act would do is severely limit the defenses an employer may have to the discrimination charge while significantly increasing the potential money damages available to the employee.  Oh, and it creates a training program to teach women how to negotiate for better wages, and provides an award for the best non-discriminatory business, along with some other nonsense…all at a cost of $15 million that we’ll need to borrow from China…a country that actually has a problem with discriminating against women.  Sounds like a great idea.

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