Why testicles? **UPDATE**
There are plenty of things in life that I don’t understand. But if I think about them long and hard enough, I can begin to wrap my brain around them. For example: light beer. Why? It’s barely beer. And it tastes like crap. But I can comprehend it after thinking about it for a while. It’s low in calories and at least isn’t a Zima. I saw one thing during my drive home from work though, that I simply can’t wrap my brain around. And I tried. I really, really did. You’ve all seen them at one time or another. Hanging there from the bumper of some jacked up truck. You probably took a double-take just to confirm that what you thought you saw you actually saw. That’s right: testicles. Or, as this website calls them, Bumper Nuts.
Why would someone feel the need to hang a set of these from their bumper? Does the giant truck not already compensate for your emotional problems? Did someone actually walk up to their automobile one day and say, “hey, you know what’s missing? A set of steel balls.” And what do these appendages signify? Does it give your truck “balls?” If yes, what exactly does that mean? Is the driver wanting us to believe that the hangers are actual copies of his testicles? Because if they are, you should get yourself checked out by a doctor.
I’ve seen lots of random stuff on cars. Sometimes I cringe to think that my children can read them. Sometimes I laugh though. “My other ride is your mom” for example, is kind of clever. The steel balls though? Not so much.
I saw a pair on an Astro Van today. Yes. An Astro Van. Not on the bumper though. They were actually hanging underneath the car…around the rear axle. And the dude driving was white, around 45 years old, and had his kids in the back. I certainly hope someone was playing a prank on the poor guy, and he just hasn’t noticed. If not, well…