Infrastructure? Again? Who Came Up With That Idea?
[somewhere in White House]
Barry: Why does everyone hate me? Don’t they realize I’m working really hard?
Biden (eating animal crackers): Yeah, it’s been a recovery summer baby!
Barry: I just don’t know Joe. The people seem to be forgetting how totally bad-ass I am.
Biden: Hey, B.O., watch me bite the head off of this horse. Boo-Yah!
Barry: I don’t know…maybe I need a vacation to clear my head.
Biden (fiddling with jack in the box and muttering to himself): why can’t i get this box to open?
Barry: Joe? Hello?
Biden (looks up from the box, startled): Wait, what? Roads! Everyone loves roads! And high-speed rail! Yeah, infrastruture baby, infrastructure!
Barry: But we’ve done that already, and honestly, it didn’t really work. Won’t the people get angry?
Biden: Come on baby, no one even remembers the first stimulus. In fact, we’ve spent so much friggin’ money, no one can even distinguish between the bailout, and the stimulus, and the budget. Just say that we can put people to work on building roads and stuff. And be sure to say “stimulus” a lot. Oh, and don’t wear that bike helmet again.
Barry: I knew it! Michelle told me it was the type of helmet that everyone wears in Paris, and that the American people would love it. -Sigh-
Biden: Nope. You looked like a total LAME-O.
Barry: Well you don’t need to yell. So, do you think Congress will get on board with the building roads stuff?
Biden (sharpening his crayons): Sure. Just give ’em the old “republicans drove the economy into the ditch and more roads will help fill in the ditch or somethin'” speech. That always works. Also, tell ’em you’ll speak at their campaigns. Who could say no to that?
Barry: Big J, I think you’re right. The people need to remember that I’m totally bad ass, and that I’m really really smart too. I mean, I used to organize communities.
Biden (making shadow puppets): You’re the smartest guy I know B.A., and that’s sayin’ something. Well, I’m tired. I think I’ll take a nap.
Barry: Thanks Joe. You’re a big help.
Biden (rummaging through his vice-presidential lunch box): Crap…who ate my fruit roll-up?!