Portland shuts down lemonade stand due to no permit. Next up: Boy’s not allowed to discriminate against girls with cooties.
Sigh. Portland is quickly becoming my most hated city. What now, you ask? The city health inspector shut down a seven-year-old’s lemonade stand because she didn’t have a permit.
‘I understand the reason behind what they’re doing and it’s a neighborhood event, and they’re trying to generate revenue,’ said Jon Kawaguchi, environmental health supervisor for the Multnomah County Health Department. ‘But we still need to put the public’s health first.’
Are you serious? It’s lemonade. It’s even made on site…the girl had all the ingredients right there for everyone to see: bottled water and Kool-Aid. She even used hand sanitizer! Jeez, when my kids make lemonade, they use the lemonade as hand sanitizer. Maybe the little girl should have had a fifth next to her to hit the inspector over the head. Disclaimer: This blog does not stand for violence against government employees with too much time on their hands. At least not with a fifth…that would be alcohol abuse.
I especially enjoyed the “I understand they’re just trying generate revenue but…” statement. How ’bout a little pot, meet kettle. Cost of a proper lemonade stand permit: $120.00. If little girl hadn’t folded up her dirty little enterprise: $500.00 fine. I’m confused: Who’s “simply trying to create revenue” again?
I’ll say it again: it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to run the government; just a little bit of common sense. It’s a lemonade stand, not an oyster bar. And it’s Kool-Aid…you know the shelf-life on that stuff? If the health inspectors of Portland have so little to do that they’re going to force a seven-year-old girl to close up her lemonade stand, then Portland should seriously think about shedding some payroll.
UPDATE: Realizing that angry people don’t like to re-elect you, the top elected official in the county advised his health inspectors to use their “professional discretion” in doing their jobs.
‘A lemonade stand is a classic, iconic American kid thing to do,’ [Chairman Jeff Cogan] said. ‘I don’t want to be in the business of shutting that down.’
See, he loves his job America. I’m sure the “lemonade revolt” being planned by a local anarchist had nothing to do with it.