Stuff that Sucks
Today I sat on the tarmac at Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport in Atlanta for approximately 45 minutes in the afternoon sun with neither captain nor air conditioning. While most people complained, I took the opportunity to think about stuff that sucks. Here’s my (admittedly incomplete) list:
1. Flight attendants thanking me for my patience. I’m not being patient, I just have nowhere to go. No need to thank me.
2. The World Cup. Why do I need to be subjected to this every four years? Why do I have to be forced to watch commercials on ESPN that attempt to make soccer seem more riveting than watching a hamster on a wheel? Why do I have to have family members joining Facebook groups in support of some random country when they don’t even own a soccer ball? People don’t get this excited about Jai Alai, and that game involves hard little balls flying really fast in close quarters. The World Cup involves little men trying desperately to score a goal…two if you’re lucky.
3. The guy sitting next to me on the plane who keeps touching me when he’s asleep.
4. Instant replay. I hate instant replay. In fact, nothing has ruined sports more than know-nothing talking heads with the opportunity to look at a play twenty times in super slow-mo from ten different angles…and still get the call wrong. And then to have to deal with all the gnashing of teeth over the blown call during the Tigers-Indians game that cost Armando Galaraga a perfect game, and how instant replay would have saved us from the travesty…enough already. Look, I’m a HUGE Tigers fan, and yes, the ump totally blew the call. But you know what? I’m a bigger baseball fan, and baseball, like all sports, is played by humans, and officiated by humans, and mistakes are part of the game. Grow up. If Jim Leyland, Dave Dombrowski, and Galaraga aren’t complaining, you shouldn’t be.
5. Sitting at a red light at 4:00 a.m. for five minutes, with no cross traffic. Why don’t all lights have sensors? Why do I need to feel compelled to break the law and drive through the intersection on a red? Wouldn’t that constitute entrapment?
6. The World Cup.