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The Hamburglar is Screwed

May 11, 2010

White House: Stop Marketing Unhealthy Foods to Kids

I find this to be pure insanity.  I always thought I had the responsibility to make sure my kids are healthy, and I don’t recall electing the “Task Force on Child Obesity.”  In fact, I didn’t even see them on the ballot.  Apparently those on the Task Force don’t like Grimace much, though.

[M]edia characters that are often popular with kids should only be used to promote healthy products. If voluntary efforts fail to limit marketing of less healthy products to young viewers, the task force suggests the FCC should consider new rules on commercials in children’s programming. It also challenges food retailers to stop using in-store displays to sell unhealthy food items to children.

If “voluntary efforts fail?”  Fail at what?  And when did six and seven year-olds suddenly gain control of what they eat?  My kids still can’t poke a straw in their Capri Sun, let alone hop in the car and pull out their credit card.  This is the nanny-state going haywire.

Now, I understand that some people shouldn’t procreate, but shouldn’t we start with forced sterilization before censoring McDonald’s?  What’s next?  Michelle Obama coming into my living room and forcing my kids outside at gun point?

But Federal Trade Commission Chairman Jon Leibowitz said, “A regulatory approach is certainly not where we want to start.” He told a briefing, “You start by pushing self-regulation, by pushing your bully pulpit; sometimes shaming companies that don’t do enough.”

This is absolutely ridiculous.  FCC Chairman Stalin, er, Leibowitz just said, in plain English, that if the bully pulpit doesn’t work, the government will just censor the Hamburglar.  Why isn’t anyone up in arms over this?  is everybody crazy?  Next thing I know, some unelected “commission” is going to storm into my kitchen and throw out my Fruity Pebbles because they contain too much sugar.  This must have been in episode six of “V,” before they forced a re-write.

All I know is, I had better not see Mrs. Obama on Sesame Street anymore, because that blue Cookie Monster fella’ is dangerous!

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